I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
