there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
