i don't like sucking hair
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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