Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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