We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
