Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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