Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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