If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
