I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
