my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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