my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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