I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Randomize
