We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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