Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
