last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
