Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
