They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I deserve this hangover.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
