I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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