My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
