Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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