Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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