great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize