So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I am never drinking with the goths again.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize