We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
