I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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