That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
