yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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