I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
