I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
