i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
