Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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