I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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