I heard we made out
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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