I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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