Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
