They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
