Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
