Just cropdusted the office
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
