I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
