Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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