Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
birth control should be required to get into college
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
