if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
