Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
