did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
