I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
