That's intense
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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