If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Someone shattered a urinal.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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