Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize