Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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