I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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