and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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