So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
