ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was confusing and full of hummus
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
