It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
