And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
