and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
