Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
