Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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