Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
