spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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