i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
