ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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