Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
