I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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