Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
